C I P R I A N I

I talk too much.  Relatively speaking I think half the people that know me would say that’s nonsense and the other half would agree wholeheartedly.  My behavior shifts depending on my company, but I’ll probably get to that some other time.  I don’t think I’m suffering alone with either malady, but as far as talking too much – I’m now one of how many blogs out there?

Ok, this isn’t talking.  But it’s making some kind of noise so to speak.  Even if no one is listening.  Right?  Again, that’s probably a question for another day.  Back to the general point:

I am a writer.  And over time I’ve come to realize that I need to write more.  In the daily grind, I focus on particular projects, try to figure them out and get them just right, then try to get them read, or more specifically be heard.  Mostly with little or no success.  

And such is the life of a writer.

Most of us anyway.  I work for “successful” writers, meaning they’re occasionally read and heard, but still often treated with disregard in their particular area of expertise by folks in places of “higher position”.

And such is the life of a writer.  In Hollywood. 

It’s a frustrating gig, but I truly believe solace can be found in the Hindu philosophy of not concerning oneself with results.  And as the great Sidney Lumet once said in regards to one’s legacy, after scowling and saying that he thought that it was a bunch of bullshit:  

“Do your work, and go home.”

There’s a great deal of enlightenment to be found in the marriage of Hinduism and Sidney Lumet, though I’m not bold enough to proclaim that enlightenment quite attained.  But at least I’m aware of it.  And I’m trying.  So that’s a start.

Still, there’s a lot of noise I notice in daily life.  A lot of folks yipping and yapping that shouldn’t be.  As Fran Lebowitz said “Too many people are writing books.”  And probably are writing blogs, and movies and on TV.  But who am I to judge?  Who is Fran to judge for that matter?

Though, on one hand I certainly agree with her.  Snooki is a “published author”.  Though I’ve written an as yet unpublished novella, my focus has been mainly on screenwriting.  And while I get annoyed when I see a terrible movie, over the years, I’ve come to learn how random the system is – and also that rarely do folks set out to make a bad movie.  It’s not as simple as simply writing a good script.  Mainly because the script is only a part of a much larger whole.

And while there are certainly separate systems to navigate in the publishing world, that really talented Ivy League grad who’s read far more Twain and Proust and Hemingway than I have, let alone Snooki must be tearing her hair out.  Then again, to be fair, I’ve never watched Jersey Shore, Snooki might be impressively well read – come to think of it, I’m kind of being a prejudiced jerk.  Because art, or pop art, or at least populist entertainment – and blogs and podcasts and the seemingly unlimited “More” ways to get each and every one of us out there in some way – on one hand is pretty democratic.  On the other, it’s a bit exhausting.

Again, who am I to judge.  As put off as I sometimes am, around the time that I decided I needed to write more I also realized I need to criticize less.  Everyone’s really just trying their best to do their best work.  I suspect even Snooki.

But enough about them.  As I dive into my personal 15 minute vacuum, such as it is, this Mark Twain quote keeps echoing in my skull:

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Which explains in some part, I guess, why I’m quiet in certain company, but I also think silence is often the best default position.

Though I am late to this particular game, I guess I feel the need to join this particular fray, if nothing else than to have a morning stretch so to speak, in addition to the long hand, private stuff I do in the moleskines.  

This is certainly more legible, but perhaps no less confusing.

I joined Facebook late too and my time, frankly, is probably better spent here.  Especially as a writer, it would seem that if I’m going to approach my calling with any seriousness, I should have a blog, right?  Sure, I’m writing every day, but now it’s broadcasted … or published.

And I have to say I feel weird about it.  Perhaps I’m used to no one listening.   And my ultimate question, with so many people talking already is it just better to keep my mouth shut – Is this necessary?

And for that matter is it really published?  Or broadcast?

“Publish” is defined as follows:

1 (of an author or company) prepare and issue (a book, journal, piece of music, or other work) for public sale: we publish practical reference books | [ no obj. ] : the pressures on researchers to publish.• print (something) in a book or journal so as to make it generally known: we pay $10 for every letter we publish.• (usu. as adj. published) prepare and issue the works of (a particular writer): a published author.• formally announce or read (an edict or marriage banns).2 Law communicate (a libel) to a third party.

While “broadcast”

verb ( past and past participle broadcast ) [ with obj. ]1 transmit (a program or some information) by radio or television: the announcement was broadcast live | (as nounbroadcasting) : the 1920s saw the dawn of broadcasting.• [ no obj. ] take part in a radio or television transmission: the station broadcasts 24 hours a day.• tell (something) to many people; make widely known: we don’t want to broadcast our unhappiness to the world.2 scatter (seeds) by hand or machine rather than placing in drills or rows.

Seems to me it’s a little bit of both.  And if I self-publish a book, does that count – oh, neurotic I am, longing for the approval of strangers … But I digress.  I do that, which at this point is painfully obvious.  I’ll try to be better about that.

As I said previously, I’m still trying to figure out what “this” is.   When I write a story or a script, I kinda have a sense of where it’s going, or where I want it to go.  And I have a general idea of the structure.  

But as far as this thing, not really sure.  I’m currently working on a memoir (sorry Fran) such as it is, as well as other scripts.  And then there’s the daily observations, personal philosophy, etc.  Plus, drumroll…

I have my first son on the way.  

I assume, if I have any time at all, I’ll have at least a few things to say on that.  

Writing, Life, family, philosophy, psychology, universe, Sidney Lumet, Snooki – I guess this will be a stew of everything. 

I would hope that each entry will improve.  As the old saying goes, all I can hope for tomorrow is that it’s better than today.

That first entry – “Genesis” was more of just a test – can I post a cute picture, does what I type show up, etc.

This entry is a forward…or a prologue.   I apologize in advance if you don’t like my choices, or if I talk too much.  But I guess here goes nothing.   As Mr. Clemens also said:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.”